Blog#6 Samara: There usually is an agenda...but I try to make the writing my focus

That is a long title....sorry! I am one of those writers who feels the need to tackle a larger topic than just the story. For some reason this is how I have always written, at least since undergrad. Being that I am Jewish, a lot of my writing (poetry and fiction) has revolved around a Jewish theme, usually the Holocaust. I think I do this for two reasons; one because my heritage is extremely important to me, and two because I cannot fathom the hatred found in Hitler and his Nazi party to kill over six million Jews. I feel like writing about this topic helps me to make sense of it in my own mind.

My first short story I wrote my freshman year of college is called "No Room For Dolls." It is about a family that is forced to leave their home in Poland upon very short notice because they receive word of a Nazi raid fast approaching. The two daughters start to pack their necessary belongings, and the older sister has to teach the younger sister a lesson in life...where they are headed there is no room for dolls. Below is a short excerpt. (This was written in 1996 and hasn't been revised since, but I felt like I should share a bit.
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The chaotic streets were lined with overturned boxes, wrecked furniture that had been thrown out of stores, homes, and windows, and swastikas. They were everywhere, they hung from buildings, they were part of every soilders uniform, hugging the muscles of their right arms. The worst were the flags with Hitler's face on them. Swastikas; two black lines that if unbent meant nothing, but together, bent against a white background with a red stripe at the top and bottom, made the most powerful symbol of hatred I've ever seen. Looking out my "Juden" sprayed window I was able to see this symbol every morning.
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For my current piece of work Black and Blue I am not focusing on the Holocaust but another sensitive topic, child and spousal abuse. So, it is clear to me that there does seem to be an agenda in my writing, but it is focused on topics that I am passionate about. I do not want my writing to become a political statement, just want readers to walk away from what they have read of mine with something to think about.

Blog #6 Melissa Davis

This blog topic really made me take a long, hard look at my writing. I had to ask some difficult questions about myself and my work. Do I even know what my political, religious, social, sexual, and economic beliefs are and can I recognize them, hidden or revealed? After much soul searching, reading, and discussions with myself and my “readers”, I came to two conclusions: I write what I know, and I do try to diversify my writing to reach a larger audience.

I am an only child who grew up in a two-parent household. I have had times of wealth and times of poverty. I have felt totally accepted and completely shunned. I have had good relationships and horrible ones, been loved and been abused. I have experienced the joy of religious belief and the utter devastation of my faith destroyed. I have felt confident about my political ideas and understandings and completely lost in the hidden agendas of politicians. I have lived in small-town South Georgia and Atlanta and have all the diversity perceptions that come with both areas.

With that said, I do try to vary my characters, settings, and ideas in my writing. Since I write mostly for young adults, I find that my characters and plots are somewhat stereotypical. I have noticed that in reading other (YA) writers, they each try to impart some sort of moral, ethical, or thematic lesson to their readers. I do as well. I spend 180 days a year with teens and I use what I see, hear, and learn from them to imbue my characters with realistic characteristics. I am limited in my experience since I teach in a rural county; however, over the years, the diversity of my students has greatly expanded and therefore, I have a greater pool of characteristics and beliefs to pull from.

In my latest story, I have a group of teenagers who are quite different. Sophia and Samuel are twins, a sister and brother, who grew up in foster homes. Sophia is the all-American cheerleader type while Samuel is the geeky, techno expert. October is an Asian Goth-girl who comes from a single parent family (her father) who was deeply cultural-minded and religious. Rick is a wealthy, spoiled brat who was given everything he ever desired, except love and attention by his parents. Shawna is an African American girl who grew up with her older brother until he was killed by gangs. Jesse is the final character they pick up and he is a bit of a mystery to the group.

I find that my beliefs are revealed within my writing and I do so deliberately. One of the reasons for writing young adult fiction is to help them through the overwhelming experiences that come with growing up. Some of them need to feel connected with a character, some need to escape from their reality, and some need to see that, despite adversity, you can succeed. While my views might be limited, I try to use my students to expand the diversity of my characters.

Blog #6 Toni Michael--Agendas

At first I was really struggling with the topic of Agendas in My Writing because I really believe that stories are vehicles to truth. The stories that we have read this semester have all touched me in some element of truth that has forced me as a reader to look at my life and the lives of others through a different lens. If I have any agenda for my writing, it would be that emotional complexities and the motives that drive them could be realized through the characters in the stories I write. I have found this to be very hard.
One reason why this is hard is because of my own biases and fears. Up to the present, I have been very guarded in my writing. I have attempted to stay as free as I possibly can from any types of agendas that would cause me to have to say, “Yes, that is what I believe,” or “Yes, that is the way I see it.” Again, I am being forced to humbly admit that I am a coward because essentially writing is a revelation of the truth as I see it, and I have to have the courage to write and let the chips fall where they may.
I admire Flannery O’Connor who tackled the challenge of being a Catholic in the South whose agenda was shaped by Christian concerns. In Mystery and Manners she writes the following:
The novelist with Christian concerns will find in modern life distortions which are repugnant to him, and his problem will be to make these appear as distortions which are repugnant to him, and his problem will be to make these appear as distortions to an audience which is used to seeing them as natural; and he may well be forced to take ever more violent to get his vision across to this hostile audience…to the hard of hearing you shout, and for the almost blind you draw large and startling images (34).
Her clarity and sense of purpose is clear in her own mind and it gives direction to her writing. I lack this type of vision, and often find myself floundering in my writing.

Blog #6 - Kathleen - No Hidden Agendas Here

Ah, me. I feel like a fraud, trying to compare my writing projects to these great published books we have been reading for this class. First of all, I've written very little fiction. I haven't even taken Fiction Writing in the MAPW program. I've registered for that class for the fall, but so far, so have only two other people. Many of you blogged so knowledgeably about writing in various third-person forms. I can't really contribute with authority to those conversations.

I am a Creative Nonfiction kind of girl. I've written essays, not short stories. Profiles of interesting people. Magazine articles. My homework. I'm striving to combine nature, travel, and memoir writing for my wanna-be-a book about my family's trip through Ireland. But I am mainly striving - to get the words out and down, to shape the narrative, to make parts of it funny, parts of it interesting, and parts of it poetic, to keep at it and not quit. Bill Bryson's travelogue of his attempt to hike the Appalachian Trail, "A Walk in the Woods," is the prototype for what I'd like to accomplish, the kind of book I'd like to produce. Right now, I'm focused on production. I've not had the time, the talent, or the temerity to promote an agenda.

But . . . I'd like to. I'm generally on a soapbox about something: child prostitution and sexual abuse of anyone, hunger in Africa, the education and social acceptance of young adults with disabilities. I used to daydream about writing books, particularly young adult books, that helped readers understand another person's life, helped them empathize with someone who is different from them. I admire Adiga for crafting a work of fiction that could make a comfortable American like me despair over the state of affairs in India. I'd be proud to write literature that had an agenda - and made a difference.

Blog #4 - Barbara. Perspective: Up-Close or Far-Out?

Blog No. 4 – Barbara
Perspective: Up-Close or Far-Out?

Reading Olive Kitteridge has given me a joy-ride through space. I feel like I’ve circulated around a character via other characters and events. Through thirteen episodes or chunks of writing, Strout gradually presents Olive, the main character. In “Pharmacy” she’s in the background as Henry’s better (or worse) half; in “Incoming Tide” she takes center stage as the savior of two suicidal people, young man and a young woman. In “The Piano Player” Olive blends into the woodwork as Henry’s amenable dinner companion; in “A Little Burst” she again takes center stage as the fury who’s going to teach Suzanne a thing or two. In “Starving” she plays a vital role in turning an anorexic around (temporarily) by telling Nina that she’s breaking Olive’s heart; in “A Different Road” she again plays savior, this time to a thug about to shoot himself. In “Winter Concert” she comes briefly across the page as Henry’s beloved wife; in “Tulips” she shows up as a failed ambassador to the internal, twisted world of Louise. In “Basket of Trips” we see Olive as the empathizer to a widow who never did travel but did dream about traveling with her now-dead husband; Olive does not feature in “Ship in a Bottle,” about another family with an insane mother. In “Security” Olive goes to visit her remarried son, Christopher, and he gives her big doses of truth about herself with both barrels; in “Criminal” she’s absent. In “River” a new Olive emerges, though still fighting, and starts a relationship with Jack, whom she learns to trust. I greatly appreciated cruising through Strout’s unique piece of work.

For my novel, The Way Things Work Out, I want to stay in the first-person to guarantee the limited knowledge of my protagonist. She depends on God for the successes in her life; her limitations play into the development of the plot. For my other book, a combination of non-fiction and fiction, I’m altering the perspective from third-person limited, in the biographies, to first-person, in the poetic prose. I present two famous people and their work in one chapter, and in the next I have them meet through an accident or a time warp, because either they lived in different times or were contemporaries but never met.

Whatever I do, I the writer need to remain flexible, and my work needs to engage and even touch the reader. In fact, in writing Artists Connect, I thought, “OK, so I present two famous personalities who have something in common. How do I make these people more interesting for the non-professional artist?” I thought, “Why not make them meet? If they lived in different centuries, use an unobtrusive time-warp; if they lived at the same time but never met, create a fluke (also self-effacing) so that they do meet.” So the biographies give information on the times, the home, the circumstances, the personality, the philosophy, and the output of each individual. I write them in third person, from the point of view of a researcher who has found information and made some connections. The poetic prose that follows these biographies tells a story from the point of view of the latest living artist (or my favorite artist, if contemporary), in first-person. So, in the style of a dramatic monologue, I climb into the skin of the person I choose, and, based on what I know, I relate an experience from his/her perspective, where s/he meets the other artist. This work has meant equal parts work and fun for me. So far I’ve presented Flannery O’Connor and Franz Liszt (both Catholics), and Herman Melville and Norman Rockwell (both from New York City). I’m currently presenting Miguel de Cervantes and William Shakespeare, both from the 1500s, who knew about each other’s work but never met. I’ll write the poetic part from Cervantes’s perspective. He will wake up one morning in London, at William’s favorite tavern.

I do think perspective plays a crucial role in a narration and in the assimilation of a narration.

Blog #5 By Brittany Leazer: Plays and POV

Out of the choices for point of view, I normally stick to third person limited. I have not had much experience with anything else. It seem to me, a story just comes rolling out of my head in that form. I don't think I have ever started formulating a story that was in first person. Third person limited, just seemes to come naturally. Because I mostly write scripts and plays, I have never really thought about point of view, until I started the MAPW Program.

In many of my courses at Kennesaw State, I have been pushed to go beyond my limits and try different techniques in my writing. I have found that playing with point of view helps me see my story from different sides. For example, if I write in first person I get a better since of who the main character is. The character becomes a little more dimensional. If I write in third person omniscient I get a better idea of who all the characters are, and this helps me identify with these characters. Sometimes I just use different points of view to help me along in the story, and then I choose which one is the best for the piece.

Some of you may be thinking, " If she writes plays, what does she care about point of view?" When I am working on a play, I often write in short story form first. This helps me see the whole play in my head, and using different points of view helps me with the characterizations. In play writing, you cannot write out what the character is thinking. A playwright must know their characters well enough that they can portray the character's thoughts through action and dialogue, so the audience can identify with them. The best way for me to do this is to meet my characters in short story form and then "play" with the point of view.

Blog # 5: Jess Yaun: Ready for Third Person Omniscient?

My stories often begin in the first person. A story idea wiggles around in my head for awhile and when I sit down to write, “I” usually comes out first. By the second or third page of scribbled first draft I’ll know whether first person is working or not. I think beginning in first person allows me to get inside my protagonist’s head and know them intimately. However, before starting the MAPW program, I didn’t think too much about point of view. In fact, in one of the first stories I turned in, my classmates pointed out I had switched point of view at the end of the story. It was only two lines, but when I looked closely, I had indeed slipped from the main character’s head and into another’s.

Once I focused on point of view in a way I never had, I realized I could create distance between myself and my protagonist and steer away from creating a main character that was too much like me, by writing in third person. I also enjoyed discovering for another story that writing in first person made the action and emotion immediate and gripping.

I prefer third person limited only because I’ve never really tried third person omniscient. The power and scope of that point of view still scares me. My novel started in first person like most of my stories do, but long before I revised and submitted my first section to my fiction class I had switched to third person limited. My protagonist, Rebecca, is dreadfully alone for the first few chapters and first person felt claustrophobic – both to write and to read. But now that I’m about halfway through the story, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s time to experiment with third person omniscient. No longer alone, Rebecca finds herself thrust back in time to the days of the Cherokees, and she is surrounded by a large clan that claims her as family. Yet suspicion grows among the tribe about who she is and why she is among them, and although I haven’t written those parts yet, I may need the freedom of showing what the people around her are thinking and feeling. I liked third person limited because I wanted my reader to go on the journey with her, to experience her revelations along with her, much as the reader does with Strout’s Olive Kitteridge, but I fear her limited perspective might suffocate the conflicts and twists that could emerge with a broader telling of Rebecca’s story.

Blog Post # 5: Ray Atkins Hears Voices

The most common narrative voice I employ in my long fiction is third-person, limited omniscient. In this narrative construction, the unnamed narrator knows a great deal about the characters in the story but does not know everything about them. This structure allows the narrator to speculate about the characters’ actions and motivations, and to occasionally comment upon the story directly to the reader. It is through this device that the narrator actually becomes a character in his own right.

I say his, incidentally, because the narrator strikes me as being a male in his mid-fifties, someone with a beard, perhaps, and with an irreverent sense of humor. In my mind’s eye he looks a lot like that guy right down there. Examples of some of the narrator’s asides to the reader can be seen in the following paragraph, which is excerpted from The Front Porch Prophet.

A thousand souls reside in the town of Sequoyah, Georgia, sixty miles southwest of Chattanooga. Located in a mountain valley surrounded by peaks, Sequoyah does not differ significantly from countless other small communities dotting the Southern landscape. It has a store and a gas station, a diner and four churches. It boasts a school, a post office, a traffic light, and a town hall. There is a doctor, a lawyer, and an Indian chief—or at least, that is what he claims. Over the years, however, the settlement has developed a character unique to itself. The whole has exceeded the sum of the parts. The individuals who resided there have left traces, pieces of the patchworks of their lives. A child's name. A house. The lay of a fencerow. A snowball bush. This is the way of towns and of those who people them. These are the relics of security, for it is not human nature to live alone.

Although third-person, limited omniscient is the point of view I most commonly employ, there are times when that voice is not fully up to the task of informing the reader. In those instances, I employ other narrative techniques as needed. For instance, in The Front Porch Prophet, each chapter begins with an excerpt from a series of letters from beyond the grave that were written by one of the main characters while he was still alive. These serve to show a side of the character that the narrator didn’t know. In my second book, Sorrow Wood, each chapter contains a reminiscence of one of the main character’s many past lives. Again, this was information that was useful to the reader that the limited omniscient narrator did not have.

Another example of a departure from the normal narrative is the prologue of my third book, Camp Redemption, which relies upon a fully-omniscient narrator to present a geographical and historical overview of the book’s setting. And finally, in the book I am working on now, Sweetwater Blues, each chapter begins with a first-person journal entry written by the main character that provides additional information that the narrator does not have. In all of these examples, the point is to present an interesting story, keep the reader’s attention, and don’t make the reader have to work too hard. This last point is critical, because these days, a large number of readers won’t. They’ll put the book down and move on.

Blog #5 Dina's Point-of-View

Point-of-view seems like it should be the first (and easiest) decision to make. When I first begin a story, I almost always write in first person. I think I start this way because I put myself in the character's shoes and write as if I'm the main character. Inevitably, as I begin to rewrite or as I get further into the story, I switch to third person because first person is too limiting.

I love first person, though. The story always moves more quickly; I think because the action is more immediate. Unfortunately, I don't think my writing is as good in first person. I tend to be more casual and less descriptive. Third person makes me a better writer and makes the story more expansive. It's easier to paint a complete picture in third than in first.

When I'm writing, though, I tend to forget myself and slip into first. I get caught up in the action and start writing as if I'm in the story. I go back through and put it back in third which gives me a chance to do some quick editing as I go and to make sure I didn't get off track. It seems to work for me.

In one of the books I'm working on, I'm using third person limited, alternating the voices of three characters in different chapters: the female protagonist, the male protagonist, and one of the antagonists. I may switch to omniscient rather than stick to these strict and maybe too organized perspectives, but I haven't decided yet. At this point, each chapter alternates - female protagonist, male protagonist, antagonist, then starts all over again, moving the plot along.

Here are a few paragraphs from this novel, Finder's Keepers. This is the second chapter, but the first chapter in the voice of the male protagonist.

The man held in a groan as he gained consciousness, pain radiating through his body and causing him to hold very still. He felt the need to be quiet although he wasn't sure why. The pain didn't feel new, but the warmth and the softness surrounding him did. He opened his eyes cautiously, slowly turning his head. One eye felt swollen and his view through that one was blurry, but he could see well enough to take in his surroundings.

There was a large, stone fireplace that gave the room a soft glow. The glow revealed the high ceilings with wooden beams, the large furniture, the small woman curled into a ball in a chair, and the tiny dog that made him wince when it landed enthusiastically on his chest. He didn't recognize any of it. He moved his arms carefully and, when none of the pain intensified, he moved the furball to the floor, and sat up in jerky starts and stops.

The discomfort made him wish he could stay flat on his back, but he really had to piss and he really wanted to glass of water on the coffee table. He had no idea where to go for the first so he gulped down the water before trying to stand. He didn't make it upright but, by moving in a hunched position and holding on to furniture and walls on the way, he was able to follow a short hallway and find a bathroom.

With his bladder drained, he realized he was done and simply lay down on the fluffy bath rug and closed his eyes.

Blog #5 Heather Cook

Typically, I write a third person limited narrator in my stories. I think I’ve chosen this point of view because in all the books I’ve read, I find this voice the least annoying. For some reason, I find first person to sound too juvenile. This may be because a large number of the chapter books I read as a child were written from the main character’s point of view. And so I now associate the first person with juvenile sounding characters. In my current project, I’m writing with a third person omniscient narrator, which is quite different for me. I’m finding this voice to be a little more difficult because I’m having a harder time getting to know and fully develop each character. Because of this, I’m having to spend more time discovering each character so that the audience will easily see them as I do in my head.

In my current project, the audience knows the thoughts of one main character, Byrn. Byrn is actually a fictional re-creation of my fiancé—he has brown skin, dark hair, defined muscles, and a whole lot of personality. The entire story remains in Byrn’s point of view. The audience knows his thoughts, which characters he likes and doesn’t like (which is intended to directly impact the audience’s opinions of the other characters), what time of day he wakes up, and what type of fictional food he enjoys for dinner. And despite the potential ease of the story being in first person, I still chose third person. I can attribute this partly to Stephenie Meyer. I’ll admit that I’ve read the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, and although I enjoyed the plot, I couldn’t stand that it was in first person. I lost respect for Bella at times because she was too whiny, too pathetic, and not enough of a loveable main character for me. Thus, I wrote my story in third person.

Although the readers stay within Byrn’s head, the audience also goes on adventures without Byrn. Even though I haven’t penned these chapters yet, I plan to write side stories that involve other characters that weren’t as developed as the others.

Blog#5 Samara: Point of View

Inevitably when I write I immediately write in first person. I feel like when I write I need to be in a particular characters head. This has seemed to help in in the past, but for my current work, I have actually moved away from this.

In my story Black and Blue (working title, don't love it). My main characters are a policewoman (Lexi) and her psychatrist (Jacob) and I am often flipping back and forth between the two to see what is going on in their lives. Some of the things they do actually parallel each other. For example, on the morning they first meet each other they both have spent the night sleeping on their own couches. I wanted the freedom to know what was going on with all of my characters and not just Lexi, which is why I chose third person omniscient. I think it is working well for me in this particular story, but as an author I am usually more comfortable in first person.

In Advanced Fiction last semester, I was able to see and hear other people's writing that benefited from a change in point of view, and saw how it really is important to make sure you think about this as a writer for the story you are trying to tell, not just because as the author you are more comfortable in that point of view. I realized I need to be true to my story, even if the point of view isn't necessarily comfortable to me as the author.

Blog 5 Danielle Swanson

Point of view seems like it should be one of the easiest things to decide. After all, there are only so many choices: first person, third person limited, and third person omniscient are the major ones that come to mind. Compared with the limitless number of character names, settings, plots, and various other elements of fiction, point of view is the multiple choice quiz and the rest are essays or fill-in the blanks.

But easy as it should be to decide, in my own writing, I have found that I frequently want to switch the view. When writing about my grandmother for my creative nonfiction class, I started out in first person, telling the story from her eyes, but I quickly realized I had to pull back. I tried first person from my eyes, but at times that was still to close and I would slip into third person. When something hurts, I pull away, step out of first person and into the third.

In my current novel, I started out writing from the third person, but I found that this did not allow me into the thoughts of my main character, something I needed for the story to survive. The reader has to be able to understand what is going on in Jessie's head to understand why she takes some of actions she does. Chick lit is often written in first person; as I write my own story, I can see how a genre so related to personal relationships often needs the writing to be inside the character's heads to make sense.

Blog #5- Kristi DeMeester

When it comes to point of view, I feel constantly torn. Whenever I sit down to begin a story or the chapter of a novel, I find that I'm the unfaithful mate. I start by thinking, "Yes. I definitely want this story in first person," but I quickly begin to doubt myself, "Well, would it be better with a third person omniscient? Or maybe I should offer the point of view of several characters?" My problem with point of view, is that I can never seem to make up my mind, and oh boy, I cheat unabashedly.

With what I'm currently working on, however, I've decided to go with the first person, and I'm toying with the idea of bringing in the main character's mother's point of view as well (I hope I got all those possessives correct!). I may go back and rewrite some of the more pivotal sections from the perspective of an omniscient narrator, but I'll have to wait to make a decision on it until then. If I obsess too much about it now, I may never get back to it.

The reason I decided on first person though was because the nature of the story told me to do it. Only Lola could tell the story of her feelings towards her mother and her mother's suicide, and only Lola could tell the story of her ultimate decision. Lola's mother though, I feel, has just as a powerful story to tell, and I have to admit, it's going to be immense fun writing as a selfish ghost. Even if I scrap the whole section, I plan to write in her mother's point of view a couple of times even if it is just a jump start to get me going or lead me towards something revealing about her character.

The other novel I've been working on is in first person as well, and I prefer the story in first person, but I'm wanting to go back in and strengthen her voice; it was starting to fall flat in several areas.

A short story I've recently finished is told in the third person limited, and I spent some time on that story in the first person before deciding that it needed to be in third person.

What I appreciated about Olive Kitteridge was Strout's ability to change perspectives from story to story while still remaining faithful to the personalities of her characters and using her words to craft characters that are strikingly real. I'd never though attempting to weave together such perspectives with a constant motif, but it is certainly something I would like to try.

Here is the opening (I'M SHOUTING HERE! FIRST DRAFT ALERT!! FIRST DRAFT ALERT!!)to the novel, titled Paper Heart, I'm working on now, which is currently in first person...but....

Prologue:
The history of my family can be traced in the scars that cover the insides of my wrists. They are jagged and broken from multiple attempts at finally getting it right, from finally putting everything that shattered back together into some semblance of beauty and order. But the flesh around the scars will never reform, and my mother, my family, will never re-align into what it once was. And the sad thing about that is that what it once was, was nothing more than an elaborately crafted dance between my mother and me. Nothing more than a lie.

Chapter 1
It is Valentines Day and my mother is dead. Her small house is littered with fat, bumbling police officers who violate her dainty household items with their fat paws. One greasy man lifts her thimble from where it rests on her favorite mauve armchair before flipping it back onto the small white side table my mother had placed haphazardly next to her chair. "So I can see the TV while I sew, honey," she protested when I complained that the table was a nuisance, "I need something to occupy my mind." Another officer leans a scrawny, vein-covered arm against the pale blue of her walls. A color she picked for its calming effects, hoping that the iciness in the blue would somehow feed the monsters in her mind and hold them back for a bit longer, just a bit longer.

I want to scream at them. To tell them to pay some respect to her possessions. To tell them to get their fucking pig hands off of my mother’s stuff.

A gaunt officer wraps a ratty grey blanket around my shoulders. He smells like cigarettes and there is a small line of sweat forming on his upper lip. His badge shouts his last name at me accusingly, "WESLOWSKI! WESLOWSKI!" It blames me for my mother’s final act, for her splitting her body open like ripe fruit, the blood spilling from her wrists in dark ribbons.

"Ms. McDowell? I’m going to need to ask you some questions. Do you think you can answer them?"

The officer’s face is tired, and I don’t want to answer any of his questions. I want him to take the other officers and leave me alone to sort out my own questions.

"I’m sorry Officer, Weslowski, is it? Is there any way we could do this some other time?"

"Of course, Ms. McDowell," he pulls a small card from his wallet and offers it to me with the tips of his fingers as if I’m a disease he might catch, "When you’re ready, please call the number at the bottom. That’s my direct line."

I nod at him and wait for him to leave, but he shuffles his feet, "I’m real sorry, Ms. McDowell, but I’m wondering if it would be better if you didn’t stay here tonight. It’s awful late, and you probably shouldn’t be driving. Is there anyone we can call who could take you home?"

"No. There isn’t anyone else." The enormity of my response hits me hard, and I can feel my heart fluttering hard against my ribs. There isn’t anyone else. Mom was my anyone else, and now she’s gone.

"I can give you a lift home, if you need one."

I want to laugh at him and tell him that where I’m sitting is home, but I reply, "Yes, thank you." And I leave my mother’s house for the last time.

The streets of Windham are quiet in the way that Georgia streets can be quiet during the deepness of night, and I try to follow the familiar scenery of my small town as it flashes by the window. Officer Weslowski is smoking and has rolled his window down in my honor, but in the air I can smell the velvet musk of summer and taste the humidity on my tongue. There has always been something about the smell of summer that reminds me of the sickly sweet scent of death, a reminder that in the lush greenery of life, death is an ever-blooming flower.