This scene is part of a short story I wrote in Creative Writing. Reading the rape scenes in The Prince of Tides and Lime Tree Can't Bear Orange, I was reminded of this scene. It saddens me how tragic the act of rape is and how common it is.
Before she even realized it, Rodrigo, his body pulsating with vitality, slithered beside her.
Roughly, he whispered in her ear as he always did, “If you love me you will never say anything about this.”
“Please, Rodrigo,” she whimpered, “Leave me alone.”
“You know that you don’t want that.” He said.
He was stroking her jet black hair and gently telling her to be quiet. Staring up at the ceiling Elena counted the thin unpainted boards that stretched from one side of the room to the other side of the room. It was her ritual as he pulled up her dress and wrestled her panties down, one, two three… ten…twenty…fifty. Cutting her open he began to penetrate her. She could feel the familiar splitting. The room was stifling hot and the sweat was pouring off his body making him slick as he moved up and down. She could feel his skin smacking hers with every pulse of his limbs on her body. She could feel the springs on her back as her body was pushed down into the mattress. She could taste the saltiness of his hand covering her mouth. The more excited he became the harder it was for her to breathe. The counting stopped.She let her mind wander. It detached like one of the magical floating balloons she had seen in the drug store. Floating high into the air, she could see everything: The cows chewing grass in the fields, the Columbus Drive Bridge where she would go and watch the draw bridge open wide for the boats to pass through, the lapping edges of the river where she would go and bathe. He rolled off her, pulled up his pants and walked out of the room without looking at her. She could feel the warm white liquid drip out of her body. Slowly, she pulled up her panties and walked outside.
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ReplyDeleteToni, this is an extremely well-written scene. I found it particly moving and effective when Elena blanked the here-and-now from her consciousness and let her mind wander during her violation.
ReplyDeleteToni-
ReplyDeleteI think writing a rape scene is one of the most difficult things to do. It is so hard to get the emotional aspect and the physical act to mesh. I think you did a great job of showing that this was something that happened quite frequently with her and she had a ritual of detaching her mind from the physical act. I think you did an excellent job of writing a scene that is poigniant without being over done.
The sense of detatchment you give is well-done. That she just pulls up her underwear and walks out is heartbreaking. Seems that this is something she is used to.
ReplyDeleteThis is a daring and difficult scene to write, and you've done a good job with it.
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