My name is Jess, and I am a writer. I remember sitting at my grandmother’s kitchen table, my feet dangling a few feet from the floor, writing long strings of pretend cursive in blank ink. I couldn’t write the words yet, but I knew they were there. They come to me while I wash dishes, while I stand at my repair bench at work, or just before I fall asleep. Sometimes I can’t write as fast as they spill out.
There are black and white composition books stacked and stored throughout my house, but before I started the master’s program at Kennesaw, I rarely shared my work. Friends and family read pieces through the years, and responses went something like, “You have such a way with words.” But I wanted to know what they liked and didn’t like. They answered, “It’s really good.”
After the birth of my son Ayden in 2006, something changed. I not only grew courageous, I realized my life was no longer my own. How could I tell my son to chase his dreams when I hadn’t chased mine?
Every day I wrote during his morning nap. Sitting on the back porch, staring at the tall hardwoods and listening to the soft flutter of the leaves, I silenced my mind and let the words come. I started searching online for literary magazines and ordering back issues. Sometime after his first birthday I mailed my first short story. Within a few months I sent out poems, essays, and stories. They were all rejected.
Then I discovered the MAPW program where I have learned there is more to writing than I ever imagined. The words come slower now, and it is harder to still the voices, but I’ve never felt more dedicated to my craft. Whether or not I get published, I will always write. I’ll continue to strive for the perfect sentence, and the commanding paragraph, and the story that touches something deep inside. And if one day I hold my own book in my hands, it will be dedicated to my son – my inspiration.
There are black and white composition books stacked and stored throughout my house, but before I started the master’s program at Kennesaw, I rarely shared my work. Friends and family read pieces through the years, and responses went something like, “You have such a way with words.” But I wanted to know what they liked and didn’t like. They answered, “It’s really good.”
After the birth of my son Ayden in 2006, something changed. I not only grew courageous, I realized my life was no longer my own. How could I tell my son to chase his dreams when I hadn’t chased mine?
Every day I wrote during his morning nap. Sitting on the back porch, staring at the tall hardwoods and listening to the soft flutter of the leaves, I silenced my mind and let the words come. I started searching online for literary magazines and ordering back issues. Sometime after his first birthday I mailed my first short story. Within a few months I sent out poems, essays, and stories. They were all rejected.
Then I discovered the MAPW program where I have learned there is more to writing than I ever imagined. The words come slower now, and it is harder to still the voices, but I’ve never felt more dedicated to my craft. Whether or not I get published, I will always write. I’ll continue to strive for the perfect sentence, and the commanding paragraph, and the story that touches something deep inside. And if one day I hold my own book in my hands, it will be dedicated to my son – my inspiration.
Hello Jess. I like your anecdote about writing cursive nonsense as a child. And I can relate to it. Sometimes I will re-read a page or two of a piece I am working on and realize that it is just that: total nonsense.
ReplyDeleteKeep those stories going out! Just because some wooly-pated editor doesn't get it is no reason to stop trying.
Jess Y-
ReplyDeleteI loved your blog! I love that you have a new found confidence to follow your dreams, and the tipping point created with the birth of your son. Even just the way you wrote about sitting out on the porch during his nap time was beautiful. I look forward to reading your work.
Jess Q
Jess, Your comment regarding "silencing the voices" is so apt. The words used to come more easily when my inner critic wasn't as finely honed, but I take comfort in knowing that it only creates a better end result. How lovely that you have such a wonderful muse!
ReplyDeleteHi Jess, I can totally relate to the feeling of the words and thoughts coming faster than you can write. The courses I've taken so far have helped me slow things down a bit too. Keep at it. Your dedication will pay off.
ReplyDelete