Blog #3 By Brittany Leazer... My Daughter and That's It!

There have surly been multiple waves that have knocked me off course. I have suffered from anxiety most of my life, and sometimes writing has been to much for me to take. But the biggest thing that has come in my life that caused me to be completely knocked off course, was the love of my life, my beautiful daughter.

After I had Riley-Anne in July of 2008, I was completely convinced that nothing else in the world mattered and all I was here on earth to do was to take care of her. I stopped being a wife, I stopped writing, I stopped acting, and I neglected my family. I was so smitten with her that I could not believe that there was more for me to do than, love her. I just sat for hours at a time looking at her. I was so overcome with love and fear that I could not function. I was afraid for her life. I couldn't understand how something so little could even survive. I thought that I had to keep and eye on her 24/7. I did not sleep, at all, for the first five days of her life. I could not think of anything else, and I was definitely not going back to work or writing for that matter.

After seeing that my love was not just a that, but an obsession of the disorder kind, my husband called for reinforcements. My mother and a great mentor of mine helped snap me back into reality. They made me realize that the pressure and fear I was feeling, was something called, The Baby Blues, some of you may have experienced it yourselves, and that I need to get some medical help. They also made me realize that as a believer in Christ, it is not my job alone to care for my sweet baby, but that God holds her in the palm of His hand, and I have to trust Him. My mother reminded me that before this baby was born I was called to write, act, and disciple. And this fact had not changed. I was still called to do these same things, but now I had a little blessing for inspiration.

I realize now, though my child and husband are the most important things in my life, and I am first and foremost a wife and a mother, there are still things like writing that I am called to do, and I can not allow anything to get tin the way of that. (Unless otherwise instructed by God!)